When you’re in the pattern of people pleasing, ‘too nice’ behaviour, it can feel like being lost in a forest.
You try harder to keep everyone happy and it makes it worse.
You read books or go to some kinds of therapy and you feel overwhelmed.
You begin to see your pattern and you get stuck in self blame.
It’s going to be OK. But you need three things.
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A map
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Good heart
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To start walking
Without a map, you go the wrong way or round in circles.
Without good heart, you never get started.
Without walking the path, you end up knowing a lot about being lost but no closer to getting out.
If you’ve tried to change in the past and got stuck, you were probably only addressing one or two parts of your situation.
Head, Heart, Hands and Feet
I help you
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see clearly (head)
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feel better (heart)
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walk the path and start creating what you want (hands and feet)
See Clearly
As we grow up, we naturally ‘borrow’ beliefs from people around us about how the world works and our place in it. Sometimes these are helpful – ‘Cars are dangerous so look both ways before you cross the road.’ Sometimes they’re not – ‘How you feel doesn’t matter.’ Thinking straight means learning to spot and step out of faulty ‘borrowed thinking.’ I can help you:
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understand how your pattern works – knowledge is power
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get out of victim mode and start taking more control in your life
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be kinder and more supportive to yourself
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escape damaging ‘prison beliefs’ that hold negative patterns in place
Feel Better
Emotional triggers around rejection, fear, shame and self worth wreck your thinking and make change feel too overwhelming. I can help you
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calm negative past experiences so you can grow beyond them
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acknowledge and soothe difficult feelings
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get better at coming back to balance if you lose it
Walk the Path & Start Creating What You Want
Maybe you “know” some things already. Great. And are you doing them?
You wouldn’t expect to get fit by lying on the sofa reading books about fitness. Information isn’t enough. Change shouldn’t be restricted to a therapist’s office or a book. You want it happening in your life. I always give you exercises to help you put your inner changes into practice in your life. I can help you:
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Start looking after yourself as well as you look after others
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Take consistent steps to build more balanced relationships
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Act like you’re worth looking after
Heart, head, hands and feet. Feel better, think straight and walk the path.
To ask about coaching, just drop me an email.