Escape the “Trying Harder” Trap

If you tend to self sacrifice, you need to learn to escape the “trying harder” trap. In this video:

  • why you probably need to try less not more
  • why changing course can be difficult
  • and give you some small exercises to put that into practice

  • What qualities do you like about yourself that are not to do with looking after others?
  • What could you do less for the world this week?
  • What can you do to take care of yourself today?

Put your answers in the comments. It will help them stick.

6 thoughts on “Escape the “Trying Harder” Trap”

  1. Thank you, thank you. Being kind and nice to myself is totally foreign. And I am 80 years old!!! And I feel like I am taking care of the World.

    • My pleasure, Kay. If it’s getting too much for you, maybe think of five things you regularly do for others that they could do for themselves. Then practice saying ‘no’ and stopping doing them. Sometimes you’ll be doing people a favour by stepping back a bit – even if they protest a bit at first – because then they’ll learn how to do it.

      Get in the habit of asking yourself “What do I need right now?” You may not always get it, but at least you’ll be clear with yourself what it is.

  2. Thanks Andrew, I found this really interesting and I really liked the idea of making a list of my other great qualities- i.e. yes I am kind, helpful and caring but there’s more to me. I’m 50 years old and ‘people pleasing’ and obsessively needing others’ approval has defined my life for years and worn me out. I wish to live a more fun and carefree life. I will take small steps but am determined. Thank you.

  3. Thanks Andrew – you speak very concisely and closely AND I love the way you bridge theory and practice. You make it doable.


Leave a Comment

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Too Nice? Start Being a Better Friend to Yourself Today
Get six of my best videos and exercises to help you feel better, get clear and start reclaiming your power.
  • Self Care First Aid - 6 ways to get back in balance after messing up
  • Stop Focusing on What's "Wrong" and start thinking about how you want to be
  • See Clearly the cycle of ‘too nice’ habits and how to break it
  • Stop Digging! Why trying harder makes things worse and what to do instead
  • Kind AND Strong - Stand up for yourself without being "selfish"
  • Embrace Your Power - Start feeling more comfortable about building and using your power
After that, you'll get my most recent articles and videos. No spam, only good things. You can opt out at any time.