Escape The People Pleasing, Rescuing Drama Triangle

Have you ever been the nicest, most helpful person

…then then been angry and resentful for not being appreciated

then felt helpless and wanted to give up?

If you have, then you’ve followed a well known path. Some people go round it their whole lives.

The good news is: Once you recognise it, you can start stepping out of it.

This video will help you

  • Spot it – Once you know it, you’ll start seeing it everywhere!
  • See why your efforts to help can make things worse
  • Know how to play your part in flipping the dynamic into a more positive one

– Karpman Drama Triangle, Stephen Karpman
– The Power of TED, David Emerald


  • What are your two insights from watching this?
  • What will you do as a result?

Post any reflections, questions or comments below. I’ll be sure to answer and it will help them stick.

4 thoughts on “Escape The People Pleasing, Rescuing Drama Triangle”

  1. Hi Andrew,
    So glad I found this and you! I have seen and learnt about the drama triangle but never knew about how you actually change it. How you get out of the triangle!!!! This is a real lightbulb moment for me. Thank you!
    In the past, I have known what roles I play but just move from one to the other because I’m stuck! I now see it’s me that WANTS to rescue and fix things and I DO NOT have to FEEL like I have to. By fixing someone else I am avoiding looking at me and working on myself. It is my reflection that I see that needs to be fixed and rescued. Because I feel I HAVE to do this I become the victim (poor me!) and I start to get resentful and then turn into my own persecutor! (Your so stupid-you didn’t learn anything. You didn’t want to do that but you did!)
    From today, I will become a challenger or coach and then a creator and hopefully change myself. By doing that I will in turn help others. I have noticed in the past, if I refuse to offer help to someone because I feel persecuted and a victim. (It’s uncomfortable all round) They then eventually manage without my help to fix themselves or stituation. I then turn into a victim and my own persector for being taken in by them and get resentful that they managed without my help. It was me that made myself feel that way because I jumped into that role without being even asked!
    This is such an eye opener, thank you again.
    I will challenge myself to work on this.
    Anne Jacks

  2. My pleasure, Anne. Wonderful that you’ve had such clear insights. And very well put!

    Like you say, it’s so easy to slip into the drama triangle *inside* ourselves. Be mean to yourself (Persecutor) -> Feel bad (Victim) -> Poor me / ‘you’ (Rescuer)-> etc etc

    But seeing it so clearly is already a big step to getting out of it. Nice one 🙂


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